The Mets have the flu. Have you heard? It’s probably the swine flu. They were 19-9 in May. But May is over. It’s June and they’re gonna die. They just lost two really bad games to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Nothing like this has ever happened before in all the annals of recorded history.
Beltran is probably out for the season. And so is Reyes. And Omir Santos is not really Johnny Bench and Gary Sheffield is not really Gary Sheffield. Putz is no good. I hear Bobby Valentine may be available soon. That’s a relief because Jerry Manuel’s no good. Look at what just happened.
It’s just like last year. The bullpen gives games away. And even Santana now has an ERA around 2 or something. Wright is 2 for 22? The bum. Nobody has hit a home run since the days of Dave Kingman.
The Phillies are pulling ahead. They’re two games up on us now. Omar has to do something. He needs to trade some of our minor leaguers and backup guys for a first-base or outfield-playing slugger. That’s the ticket.
We have no time to lose. If we wait too much longer we’ll be so far behind the Phillies we’ll never catch up. You have to remember that we’re going to play the Phillies and the Yankees in succession. How can we beat them if we have NO OFFENSE AT ALL!
There’s a flu going around all right. But it’s not in the stomach. It’s in the head.
